. . at least until the novelty wears off!

 

1st October 1999 Editorial

Genius or Madman ?

No one for a second doubts the footballing talent of Tim Horsley. His grace and sheer brilliance with the ball at his feet has always delighted Tunaville supporters, safe in the knowledge that he is as committed to the Rovers as they are !

It makes it all the more sad then that such talent has to be accompanied by bouts of what can only be described as utter madness, fuelled from we know not where, but undoubtedly likely to take a grip on the man who Tom (Slippery) Tompkins, that great Tunaville player from the '50's once described as "a boy on a man's mission"

Let us hope Tim can hold himself and the team together as they embark on what we at the Gazette feel might be quite a substantial cup run this year !

 

Traffic Lightmares

Have they gone mad ? Are those responsible for Tunavilles roads up to their old tricks again ? Far be it from us at the Gazette to cast aspersions, but surely the implementation of a set of traffic lights at the junction of Pattens Hill seems to serve only one purpose ?   To divert traffic away from the Manor house.

Who proposed this preposterous scheme ? Who oiled the council wheels ? We demand to know !

 

Beware of Low Flying Pains

'Buzzing the grass' has different connotations in some circles but this past week in Tunaville it's been the byword for some rather unsavoury goings on over the village green ?   To the Gazettes knowledge (after extensive research) Tunaville has not just opened an International Airport so we have to ask the question, who's the culprit with the joystick ?

 

Hands across the water ? Are you sure ?

Tunaville has always delighted in welcoming visitors from all over the world. Subsequently, the vast majority are well behaved, pleasant individuals who take great enjoyment in everything our community has to offer and leave with a feeling of satisfaction and fulfilment, secure in the knowledge that the residents of Tunaville were truly pleased that they "came to see what all the fuss was about"

Evidence of this fact is even in this very edition of the Tunaville Gazette, where there is a letter from a couple of very happy visitors who ventured all the way from the town of Texas in America.

Why, oh why, oh why then, was it necessary for a group of small minded golf 'fans' from across the pond to create such a disturbance in the Rose and Crown on Sunday night and behave in a manner that quite frankly can only be described as appalling.

We at the Gazette are sure the cry of "Whoop, Whoop. Stick that where your wedge won't shine, Monty!" holds some relevance in the former colony but it has no place here in Tunaville.

It also goes without saying that we are all indebted to our local man of the cloth for a job well done and we all wish him well on his disciplinary visit to Grosvenor House next month. They certainly won't be ordering any Specked Hen for a while.