The robbery took place at around 2am on Tuesday night whilst the shop owner was asleep. It was only when the shop failed to open at it's usual time of 7:30am on Wednesday that Police were alerted. Mr. Slaughter was found bound and gagged, with minor concussion from a blow to the head.

Mr. Slaughter, who was discharged from Bigtown hospital after a routine examination by Doctors, was obviously still in a state of shock from the incident.

"After a few pints of the old Speckled Hen down the Crown, I returned home at around 11:30. After checking the doors and windows were secure, I hit the sack at midnight and was dead to the world shortly afterwards. Normally the days takings are banked the same day, but due to the unavailability of staff at the National Bank, the money was kept on the premises that night"

Chief Constable Thompson, who found Mr. Slaughter, told reporters,

"The burglar entered the premises via the toilet window after dropping the drugged sausage through the letter box. A brick discovered nearby had been used to smash the small toilet window, through which the thief had crawled through. We don't have any real clues at the moment, but judging by the size of the window the villain couldn't have been that large. The desperate nature of the crime also suggests the thief might be experiencing a cash crisis".

In a deal struck aboard a luxury cruiser off the shores of Tunaville Beach last weekend, Mr. Tim Lucas transfered his newsagents business to Mrs. Paramita Gupta for 'an undisclosed sum'

"It really was the deal I was looking for " explained Mr Lucas. "We've been attempting to fill too many niches for some time now and to be honest the far more lucrative side of my business has been suffering as a result. This transaction allows me to concentrate on developing the fine wines and spirits trade along more professional lines which to be frank, is what I feel Tunaville has been looking for all along."

"Bindi's corner shop is undoubtedly going places and now that I can add paper based media products to my line, I feel we can only strengthen our standing within the communitny. It's such a natural fit. As our neighbours and customers know only too well, our shop is open from 4:00am to 11:30pm as it is, so adding in the newsagent franchise was no real hardship.

She added : "I am especially delighted as it gives me the opportunity to put something back into the community in the form of extra employment. I have already been approached by one local village inhabitant on the look out of taking up an early morning paper round and I'm sure more will follow."

" It is something that I and the previous chairmen of this fine institution are very proud of, but we must not be complacent. It is a major concern that with the potential closure of the book-shop we may see a significant growth in unemployment in the village and for that reason, despite the decision to keep rates stable at this time, I am announcing that the official bias to interest rate policy is that of a reduction."

"I guess we'll be watching the data very closely from here on in" said Mr. Slaughter, the family butcher. "Mr. McKinney is very well repected amongst the community and when he issues such a warning the market for sure will sit up and listen."

"He is obviously trying to keep everything on an even keel" commented Mr. Mitchell at the bakery."For sure there will be a knee-jerk reaction, as there always is to such announcements, but in a way Mr. Mckinney is playing a very shrewd game and letting the local market do the hard work for him."