October 22nd 1999 Tunaville Tatler with "MuckSpreader"
There have been many confirmed reports of Ian McKinney, the Manager of our local National Bank of Tunaville branch, somehow managing to lose an expensive piece of photographic equipment when recently clambering onto a boat following a particularly sociable lunch. Could this then be the same Ian McKinney who this weekend, it is rumoured, dived off the top deck of a junk in an effort to retrieve his hat, only to realise seconds before he hit the water that he was still wearing his spectacles?  MuckSpreader wonders if perhaps he was keeping his glasses on to see if he could spot his previously lost camera!

Is there any truth in the rumour that our local cleric, the Reverend Steve Mullins was seen in the red light district of Kuala Lumpur last weekend? He was intending to make an appearance at the Malaysian Grand Prix but the race track is no-where near the red light district! Perhaps he has "lost his way" and needs divine intervention to find his way back in to the fold.

Alledgedly spotted just the other day leaving the back door of Donaldsons Hardware Store was none other than Dotty, earstwhile glamorous companion of Tunaville Rovers bad boy, Tim 'High Kick' Horsley. Sources whisper that amongst Dotty's belongings as she left the shop was a large brown paper envelope. Nothing strange in that says MuckSpreader until we're subsequently informed by a realiable contact she headed straight for the National Bank of Tunaville where she made what can only be described as a 'substantial deposit'   Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Business seems to be on the 'up' at Ange's Beauty Parlour when it come to fighting the flab. Ange reports that a flood of customers have been seeking her services in dropping the pounds recently which of course has subsequenty seen some weight loss in the customers wallet department as well. Curiously however, MuckSpreader has discovered that almost all of these new clients were inspired to attend after suffering an embarassing incident involving an item of furniture collapsing beneath them. And can you guess which health centre proprietor always seemed to be present at these peculiar happenings ?

More gossip next week and if you've got some malicious rumours to spread, then why not let me sound your horn !   E-mail me at muckspreader@tunaville.com