What to do? Although it is his trade, my dear husband believes he is GOOD At DIY. It has led to such friction. He appears to get so much pleasure out of pottering yet he wreaks havoc on things which didn't need fixing in the first place.

Example : We have recently had a well earned vacation in France, yet he takes an afternoon out to "varnish the pine mirror". Well, you can't imagine that could go wrong. I'm sorry to tell you that we all like a touch of Distressed pine, but that was ridiculous. We have hung it on the nearest tree round a rather sharp corner.

Annie, how do I tell him kindly? He believes himself a bit of a fixer and shaker. How do I enlighten him without wounding his pride ?

Yours truly,

Worried of Tunaville

I am sure that Tunaville is full of "extremely distressed" pine mirrors created by like-minded males who on the weekend suddenly become Peter the Plumber, Johnny the Joiner or Rob the Builder when in fact they haven't the necessary know-how or skills to successfully handle household tasks. (I myself have a few kitchen clocks that I was assured could be easily fixed only to find that when Mr. Ask Annie took them to bits and tried to put them together again he hadn't a clue!).

I think you should gather up all his tools, varnish, paints, DIY books etc. etc. lock them in the garage (or even better throw them in the bin) and get out the Yellow Pages for reputable tradesmen.

I am sure if you tell him with great tenderness that his DIY skills leave a lot to be desired he will venture off and find a new weekend hobby. (Caution - don't mention that your car won't start in the mornings!!).

I have written to you in the past and must now seek your trusted advice yet again.

I recently experienced financial difficulties, but was very fortunate to win the local Tunaville lottery. Well as you can imagine this was a 'god-send' and dug me out of a considerable hole.

Anyway, a good friend of mine advised me to invest my cash in the 'tech' sector of the local Tunaville share index. Now the market has duly collapsed, I have lost over half my money. What am I to do as I told my wife that I had put the money safely on deposit at the National Bank, at a rate of 1 5/16% for 1 year. I know I have been an idiot, but can you proffer any advice ?

Yours, in a 'financially strapped, yet again' sort of way,

I am quite sure there will be a lot of very smart investors who will wish they had contracted e-coli, scarlet fever, mumps, whooping cough, in fact anything instead of dot.com fever.

To answer your question I think you must come clean with your wife and tell her how stupid you have been (again) - she will probably not be too surprised. Once she has gotten over the initial shock of seeing her nest-egg disappear she may well send you out to Bindi's Corner Shop for another supply of lottery tickets. Good Luck (again)!!

Can you help me? I used to have a good number of friends with whom I would regularly go for a beer and a sandwich with at lunchtime, normally at the Rose and Crown. I enjoyed the banter, as we would regularly discuss subjects as varied as sport, the latest develpoments on the internet, hi-fi, refereeing decisions at recent rugby games, etc. (I think you get the picture.)

Anyway, now my chums have either left the district or are away travelling on business to Bigtown, leaving me all on my tod. I do not want to be the 'sad bastard' drinking on my own, so do you have any suggestions ?

Yours,

'lonely of a lunchtime'

Get a life, get a promotion and get to Bigtown! Leave the VB's the Carlsbergs and the San Migs to the real sad bastards of the world who probably haven't even heard of Bigtown!!