The catalyst proved to be that of inflation data, supplied by the National Bank, that showed consumer prices rising on a monthly basis by 0.7 %. The market duly went into freefall with tech stocks, such as Horsley's Hi-Fi,(HHF) being worse hit.

General manager of the National Bank of Tunaville, Mr. Ian McKinney, showed caution in his official policy statement, following the collapse of the Gazette 7 index.

'We have for some time been concerned about inflationary pressures building within the system and have never subscribed to the belief of some , that now we are all part of a global economy, inflation is a thing of the past. As a consequence we will remain ever vigilant to monitor the situation.'

'There is a real threat that the National Bank has not been over-diligent in their control of inflation. All the chat at 'Vic's cafe' the other day was at to whether Mr. McKinney was 'behind the curve'. These latest set of numbers would seem to suggest that he is. As a consequence a good deal of money headed for the exit door. My suggestion to people would be not to panic and use the current bout of weakness as a buying opportunity.

A break-down of the CPI figure would seem to suggest that there has been a sharp rise in food prices. It is my humble opinion that Mrs. Bindi's prices are bordering on the extortionate and that she is largely responsible for this current market collapse.'

Surprisingly one share finished up on the day, Donaldson Ironmongers (DIM).Owner Neil Donaldson, when interviewed, did not seem that surprised by such news.

'DIM' is a true value share and not one of the current 'fly-by-night' stocks that currently seem to exist in the Gazette 7. During times of adversity, people will naturally look for a safe-haven for their money and where better than a bonefide blue-chip.'

According to sources linked to the New Delhi constabulary, Indian police are following up information supplied by a local bookmaker, Bindi Formbuk. Mr. Formbuk has apparently told investigators that during Tunaville Rovers' summer tour of India, Mr. Slaughter accepted the equivalent of TUN$43 to ensure his team lost to the local Paramita Colts. Paramita is a town of little significance politically but is renowned for its feisty attitude and its pleasant northern hills.

When contacted by the Gazette, Mr. Slaughter strongly refuted the allegations.

"It's a load of toss," he complained bitterly. "This Indian joker is just trying to make trouble because we had such a successful tour."

"The real story is that we were cruising 6-0 up against the Paramita boys in the final of the Cronje Cup when a spectator sidled up to me in the goal and stuffed a wad of cash in my hand and whispered 'It's opening time at The Wobbly Brahmin'. I thought it was just a friendly gesture from an appreciative fan so I trousered the cash. And, as we were so far ahead with only 8 minutes to go, I thought I'd nip off early doors and get them in with this character's wedge.

Unfortunately, I was spotted leaving the field by some of my team mates and by the time I reached the Brahmin, most of the Rovers boys were right behind me. I believe Mr Donaldson and Mr Lucas had even got there before me."

"It was unfortunate that we ended up losing the game 9-6," he admitted, "but there can be no question of bribery or a lack of commitment from the lads."

"It was dreadful,' commented a neighbour. "I mean I'm all for people having a good time, but the noise was horrendous especially the music - I mean they were playing 'Genesis', I ask you! Anyway by about 2 A.M. I'd had enough and phoned the police."

P.C. Thompson commented afterwards.

"It was a tad awkward, but Mr. Tinker was very amenable and immediately complied with my wishes for him to turn it down a bit - fortunately common sense prevailed.

I would also like to dismiss wild rumours currently circulating at the moment, that drugs were found on the premises. I conducted a very quick search of the premises at the time, as a matter of procedure, and the only strange thing that came to light was the presence of a large amount of imodium discovered in the hand-bags of two women present. As this can be bought over the counter at any chemist, no further action was necessary"