It's still not bloody well working. Muckspreader my a**e. You bleedin' lot couldn't spread a tub of Flora. So you can p**s off, the lot of yer.

Wilf Smegg

The Editor Replies : Always keen to act on the constructive criticism of our readers, the Tunaville Gazette have instilled the services of a highly trained team of IT professionals and we have come to the conclusion that : " You're Shit , Ahhhhh !" The technical explanation is that you probably don't have your e-mail client configured to respond to http/mailto: enquiries but to be honest, we here at the Gazette have thought about it long and hard and prefer : "You're shit, Ahhhhh !"

I'm sure I'm not alone in wondering just what is going on at the Gazette. Lately, the paper seems to be going to the dogs and no mistake. After the recent fiasco of the 'mystery illness' brought on by too much socialising at the Rose & Crown, another issue fails to appear. I can't wait to hear what the latest excuse might be. Perhaps the editor was abducted by aliens this time or maybe the paper's computers turned out to be non-19 November compliant.

Nevertheless the announcement of the paper's non-appearance included a notice advising readers to "watch out for a Special Sports Supplement on Sunday". Well, I watched out on Sunday as directed but I failed to see a Special Sports Supplement of any kind.

I'm sure there is a very good reason for its non-appearance -- perhaps the Sports Supplement team has been unable to find any sporting events to report on -- but it is increasingly frustrating for your readers. It's got so that that Gazette is getting harder to find than a Lena Zavaroni turd. So get a grip and stop this nonsense, chaps. Publish and be damned!

Yours etc.,

When are we going to get the opportunity to purchase some good old Tunaville Memorabilia ? Christmas is descending upon us at a vast rate of knots and I for one would be delighted if I could take the opportunity to adorn my close friends and relatives in some sort of 'football shirt' maybe that would remind them of what a fine place Tunaville is.

Yours wallet at the ready,